i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
