forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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