Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
