I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just gift wrapped bread.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
