I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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