We should be called the Road Head Warriors
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
