I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
