she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
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