If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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