worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
