i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
