hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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