My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
