I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
