This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
