OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We have so much sex to catch up on
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
