you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
