At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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