I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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