i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
