So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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