just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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