I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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