I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
