At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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