'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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