Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
