It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize