marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
