hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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