I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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