I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
