she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
