so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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