How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
