You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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