the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
