My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You need a sexual gate keeper
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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