come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
