who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
