It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
