vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
