Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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