Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
