come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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