"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
