Sponge bath it is.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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