she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
