They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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