I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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