How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize