i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
