Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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