My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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