How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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