Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize