Sacagawea was the original milf.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He better not be in your backpack
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
