dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
