forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
