i need an iv and a liver transplant
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
