is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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