before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Bring me that man meat
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
