Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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