need another drink. this is the easiest way
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
