drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
