In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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